addiction

Recently, I've been unabashedly addicted to craigstlists, often times i find myself checking for my next big purchase at anyone's computer. I used to be embarrassed about it, but there is a time when you just have to accept the person you are. be it at work, at the library, or at a friends house, I really have no shame. You must be dying with excitement to find out my recent craigslist purchases and future craiglists purchases. Well it first started off with a mint green/blue Hermes Rocket typewriter from some time in the 60's. It was a steal for $30, the downside was that it was in Renton. No less, the cost of it rationalized the gas money I'd have to waste on the drive down there. It's a beaut, some keys are sticky but other than that it works and looks like a dream.
I've been desperately searching for a bike frame that suits my short stature. After hen nu li searching for a fitting bike frame and a fair amount of build ups and let downs I finally came upon a nice red Schwinn Le Tour bicycle. This, too, was also a steal at $125. One thing I've learned from craigslists hunting is that you have to act fast on deals to ensure a successful purchase. Aggressiveness and promptness are key. With that said, because I am a habitual craiglist hunter, after reading this ad I immediately e-mailed the dude with my general inquiries, "is it an aluminum or steel frame?" "how heavy is it?" "is there any significant dents or problems with the bike?" To my surprise and great excitement the guy replied to my e-mail within 5 minutes. Shortly after receiving the e-mail I contacted one my greatest bike search supporters [you know who you are] for tips and advice. I was determined to make this bike my own. But as it goes with craigslists, nothing is ever certain--someone else, a much better, much more seasoned craigslist hunter could've easily snatched up the steal before you even had a chance. So I tried to keep it cool, reminding myself not to get too excited, and if it didn't work out it was no big deal. In reality I would have been crushed if I did not get this bike and would eventually find the person who bought it and steal it from them. But, I knew I was destined for this bike, we had a connection from the very beginning. Without much hesitation I agreed to purchase the bike. It has been one of the best decisions of my life.

LOOK AT MY BABE! Since then I've put on new handle bars, new front and back wheels, cages for the pedals and removed the back brake. it is now a fixed gear. don't hate. I gave into the dark side, I know.

Today I went to Stickman's in Fremont to see my friend Joe. After drinking lots of coffee we ended our meeting with an Affogato, which is espresso poured onto ice cream. Delicious.

It's been a while since my last entry, but since then I've completed some of the things on my to-do list.

• get my fixed gear bike--check
• drink beers--check and check
  
• stop school--check, thank god
  
• take more pictures--check!
  
• re-do website--1/2 check, in the process
  
• read more--check!
• eat more--this deserves a 1/3 check, I have my moments.
  
• sleep more--checcccckkkkk.
• travel more--1/6 check, plans count!
  
• cook more--check
  
• observe more--10000xcheck

let's take some time to congratulate me on success. Now please make me a cake.

I am practically living in capitol hill at frances and tim's loft--the clubhouse, as it's been coined. The clubhouse is basically a homosexual hotspot known for its built in swings, kinky sex toys, and its kinkier live-ins. I don't consider myself to be apart of this group, but i sure do like to watch.

As for our poop quota, frances told me today that she is going to start charging a toilet paper tax.

Currently obsessed with:

• craiglists [as stated above]
• bikes
• papusas!
• drinking in parks
• cal anderson
• stumptown
• sunshine
• crafts
• affogatos
  
• short shorts
• bad tan lines
• fruit of all kinds.
• avoiding pressing and important decisions
• disorderliness
  
• having no sense of time
  
• milk steaming and pouring

Currently Reading: David Sedaris, When you are engulfed in flames.

Currently Listening to: New Beck



Coffee Break

"Do you guys have Frappacinos?"

"Is there free wi-fi here?
"For customers"
"Great, I'll have a bottle of water."

In response to Starbuck's purchase of The Coffee Equipment Comany, the company that produces the Clover, many independent coffee shops have since sold or retired their $11,000 machines as a way to protest the de-specialization of coffee that the "Green Giant" is known for. As a result, many of these coffee shops have reverted to using french presses, as they once did before the creation of the Clover. However, a few coffee shops are, alternatively adopting a process called "pour over," which is something between a french press process and the clover process. Akin to the Clover process, there is typically a variety of coffee options, with precise measurements of coffee grams and extraction time. The coffee is first measured, ground freshly and finely, and then poured in a filter and then hot water is poured over. The extraction time is a small amount longer then the clover, but the taste is arguable just as good, if not better. In the past I've heard of the "pour over" process from my friend, Thamer, when he had visited San Fran's Blue Bottle cafe. Since then I had thought little of it. But today when I was at Stickman's I noticed that they had a small set up of what looked like ceramic dishes with coned filters inside of them set on top of this metal shelf looking thing that poured directly into metal steam pitchers.

Here's pictures of Blue Bottle's "pour over" or what they call "Siphon Bar." It looks more like a chemistry lab. Stickman's version is much more casual and less showy then Blue Bottle's.

current thoughts

need a wide angle/fisheye lens
get my fixed gear bike
drink beers
stop school
take more pictures
re-do website
read more
eat more
sleep more
travel more
cook more
observe more
be 21

do it.

sweat

despite my drab and sweaty appearance at work I was able to make $78 in tips in just two days. with the combination of heat and lack of sleep I was less then amiable and extremely irritably. For some reasons street fairs tend to attract suburban housewives and their too-cool-for-school kids that know nothing beyond large franchises like Starbucks and Tully's. So, no I will not make you a venti iced non-fat carmel macchiatto with no whip or a fucking frappacino while you get angry for waiting more then 2 minutes to get a drink.

I am refusing to wear clothes from now on.

on Friday I went over to Tony, Kelly, and Dillan's after Chinese class to go to golden gardens to relax on the beach. It was a fucking american apparel advertisement. I do enjoy AA and their soft shirts, but it was actually kind of embarrassing to be surrounded with everyone wearing similar outfits. That's the problem with AA, it's become so hip that anywhere you go you'll be sure to see someone wearing the same thing.

oh hey here's an ad.

from the left to right: alissa, kayla, tony, bruce & kelly

tony & kelly; bruce & beer

kelly

Anyway I thought I'd be a good idea to drink heavily and walk to an imaginary bus stop by myself. I end up walking for a good 30+ minutes waiting for the 46 bus to arrive until running into Anthony's and remembering that Alex [my c0-worker] also works at a hostel right across the street from Anthony's. So being the problem solver I am, I call him at work and ask for directions. I eventually make it to a 44 bus stop only after walking another 15 minutes to downtown Ballard. I need to be more cautious while I drink. I could have been stolen!

Later we went to Frances' place to get more shitty before heading to the French Kicks show at chop suey. It was a really hot and disappointing show. so much sweat.

Tim and I tried to watch Pink Flamingo, a John Water's movie. This movie was so wacky. so weird.


I don't want to talk about things anymore. Here are just some photos.

emily & wine

jocelyn

emily & cam

emily's & cam's view

apples 2 apples; wines; city lights

sean sean

nermal

repetition.

1. pour milk
2. turn on anfim
3. dose
4. tap
5. 5 lbs. of pressure tamp
6. spin
7. 30 lbs. of pressure tamp
8. spin to finish
9. wipe down basket
10. flip
11. blow
12. insert
13. extract.
    

on being crazy

I am a mess today. Why, you ask?

Why I am a mess #1:
I skipped two classes today. I don't even want to disclose why I skipped my Chinese class. But I slept through my IS lab, which was a poor mistake considering that I was unable to turn in my last assignment because I did not want/know how to do it. But have some faith in me, I did go to my last class, which wasn't really a class because it was canceled so we could meet with our groups. So actually don't have any faith in me because I would have skipped if it weren't a mandatory group meeting.

Why I am a mess #2:
I napped, again. When I woke up I made some chocolate covered strawberries. I ate some of those chocolate covered strawberries and laid down, because I am a lazy piece of shit and not realizing I had chocolate all over my face, Nermal [cat] began licking my face. Because I am that lazy I just laid there and let her lick my face.

Why I am a mess #3:
I made my way to work--early for the first time in months so I could stroll and take in the sun and heat. When i arrived I realized I was not even scheduled for a shift today.

this list is just the highlighted messes I had today.

But here are just a few other things.

• I like new employees; they are so eager to please people.

• I almost ate a whole wedge of brie today.

• I cleaned my room [again]

• I sat under a tree in the sun

• I agreed to have dinner with someone I don't want to have dinner with

• Jeff and I have really great girl talk

• Did you know that obesity is causing global warming?

• Listening to Terrordyctals

• Nina. Nina. Nina.

Here are some photos for you.



okay I need to go watch a movie with ryan. bye bye.

Getting Shitty

Hating the Business School again.

I was incoherent today. I slept just about 3 hours last night because I had a Chinese exam today, but I really did not utilize this time to study. Instead, I watched graffiti videos and talked shit. Anyway i had a case study due today with my IS group. In the past, other groups just turned in the case study and our professor led a discussion on the readings and study. But today she decided to do something new and special--instead of her leading these discussions one representative in the group would lead. Of course because I was a wreck and I was born in the states, so naturally I was chosen to represent our group. It was terrible. I made absolutely no sense, completely unable to articulate any cohesive thoughts. I looked like a fool, I had never been so embarrassed in my life. But the boy who makes eyes at me sometimes alleviated some of the humiliation by helping me answer questions and add to the shit I was pooping out of my mouth. I don't know his name, but I wanted to give him a hug.

No more threats okay Frances.

I just bought my Sasquatch tickets. Thank you very much to those of you who had no faith in me—the H.MO’s.

Biking through Portland.

The plan goes as follows: take a train to Portland after spring quarter is over to see Dosh at Doug Fir on June 12 and then do a bike tour of Portland and its coffee shops. I don't care how nerdy you guys think I am.

this is Black Sheep Bakery in the Hawthorne neighborhood of portland.

Tight Pants

I've been eating a lot in the past few weeks, and as a result my pants are tighter then they have been in years. This means that i have primarily resorted to wearing tunics and avoid wearing form fitting tees. I have this pair of gray jeans that were already kind of tight, but are now uncomfortably tight. Sometimes it's hard to sit down and I don't bend so well, I found that bending to the side is the best in those jeans. Give me some more time and I'll be wearing sweats and moo moo's.

Sunday Brunches

I've been terrible. I've missed the past 2 Sunday brunch, yet my pants are still so tight. I think last last Sunday was a combination of tim and my fault. But last Sunday was my fault. I didn't get up until noon, which is really rare but I got had a rough weekend. Tim was a hater and he had shitty food at Table219, formerly known as El Greco.

Getting Shitty

Friday
I had a good weekend. I have been planning to get real shitty for a long time. As planned, I got real shitty. I got off work on Friday and went with Frances to my friend Chris' art opening at the Phinney Ridge/Greenwood art walk. Being a relatively small neighborhood the art walk was surprisingly big--spanning over 27 blocks. Frances stole a boot, 1 boot from a toddler. she took it right off her foot and ran away. she really had no shame. We ate at this restaurant called Olive You. I kept on telling Frances that I Olived Her. i don't think she thought it was as funny as I did. that's typical. Anyway the music was really loud and dark inside but there was a belly dancer that made Frances uncomfortable. Just imagine if someone just belly danced as they walked, even better imagine doing it up and down stairs at a very fast pace. I had some eggplant dish, which was so good. God damn it was good.

We left the restaurant and headed back to U-district to drink the wine that Frances had been carrying. We went to tim's and emily and owen were there. It started out very slow just drinking some and socializing and then all of sudden I just get ridiculously drunk. I remember being completely fine one second and then next second I am drunkenly cutting up oranges my parents bought for me. Sadly that's really all I remember of that night. I remember hearing voices but not seeing a god damn thing. But the next day I slowly pieced together that night. I was nuts. I put on tim's clothes and then tim started reading to me thinking that this would prevent me from getting sick. What a great idea.

Saturday
The first thing I say when I walk into work on Saturday is "I'm a mess." Working is never bad with weston. He's great. I'm really sad that's he's leaving to New York for grad school, but I'm really happy for him I'll just miss him and sven. Ashley was having a sushi making party. admittedly I was a little hesitant to go to this party because 1. I was really hung over and tired; 2. it was a bunch of ashley's language partner's friends that I didn't really know. To my surprise it was amazingly fun. It was kind of chaotic with all the people cooking in the kitchen. But we set up a bunch of sushi making ingredients on the table and just made what ever we wanted. I met a bunch of cool international students from mainly Taiwan and Korea. Again, to my surprise they drank a lot. Holy shit, from what I've experienced people from Asia, particularly students don't drink very much. These kids knew how to drink, going through a few cases of beer, a fifth of vodka, and the biggest bottle of sake I've ever seen. Taiwanese people love mayonnaise! i was so full, but that didn't stop me from devouring a large slice of rosemary pear upside cake and two scopes of icecream. it was delicious. Ashley made it and it was perfect--not too sweet and somewhat savory. somewhere in between eating way to much and drinking more then we should the party died down a little bit and colin arrived looking devilishly handsome. they say distance makes the heart grow fonder. i haven't seen that shit head in weeks. he looks like a different man.

one of the tawainese kids, Daren, loves to take photos. so we looked through some slideshows that he had of his adventures in the states. he had a few random pictures of american children, which i thought were funny. so, Mei, Ashley's language partner asks, "so what is it called, someone who likes children?" Ashley and I look to each other and we both say, "pedophile." Immediately after Mei yells, "Daren's a pedophile." Ashley then explains the negative definition of the word pedophile and warns the international students to never yell that in public, especially if you're taking pictures of kids. good advice, that could have been sticky.

I watched Lilya 4-ever at Tim's. It's confirmed that it is one of the most depressing movies.

Sunday
I missed brunch but met Tim at Stumptown on Pine. Attempted to study. Studying is hard given the any other option. Lest to say that not much studying happened. the people working at Stumptown were really nice but played lots of metal/screm-o tunes. It got unbearable at times.

Tim was trying to convince me to convert my bike to a single speed for his own reasons, which I completely respect but can't do. I'm not fit enough bike up hills with one gear, sorry I got stumps.

Frances later joined us and we studied and fought. I wonder what people think about us when we're in public? God I guess I don't want to know. they probably think we're some dysfunctional three-some couple. hot--not really. We ate at De-luxe Bar and Grill on Broadway. It reminded me of a dimmer and gayer Red Robins or Applebees--having a comparable menu and music selection. Frances had i think a crab sandwich with onion rings. Fried food is Frances specialty. Thankfully it's fair food season. Deep fried everything, it's the american way. Tim had the Monte Cristo, which was a sandwich with I don't know what inside deep fried, sprinkled with powdered sugar and served with some kind of jam. Sounds gross, but apparently it was delicious. I had some ravioli, it was sub-par and a rip off. But Tim helped me finish. Boy can that skinny piece of shit put away food.

What's ahead.

applying for internships
signing up for summer [lame] and fall courses
wasting time doing group projects
wasting time doing chinese
being more forward and pounce
symphony on Thursday
French Kicks show on Friday
biking
saving money
keeping my room clean
sleepy and eating regularly
glory-holing
being 21 and picking up studs at the bar
seeing family

Final thought.
picnics and alcohol

I’ve always have had problems with means of communication. I like the idea and convenience of it, really I do. But I like this convenience on my own time. I’m slow to respond to things like e-mail, phone calls, and letters. I avoid checking voicemails, my email for fear of acknowledging obligations. Time and time again I’m burned by my inability to sense urgency.

I had a midterm today. I started studying early and for the first time in a long time felt prepared. I go into class and sit down in my usual spot—the front. As usual, I take no notice to my surroundings and the trivial speak of the current greek happenings. But I happen to hear some dude say, ‘hey man I filled every inch of my note sheet.’ I turn around and discover that everyone has a piece of paper filled with useful information concerning the midterm I’m about to take. I apparently missed the memo. I assumed that the professor told the class that we could have a cheat sheet on one of the many days I had skipped this class. Still shocked and confused, I asked the guy sitting next to me when she [our professor] told us that we could have a note sheet. He replied, ‘last night she sent us an e-mail.’

I never learn from mistakes.

When I worked on Sunday with Molly I was asked out/hit on a record amount of times. This doesn’t happen that often and when it does, it’s invariably uncomfortable and disgusting. Why you ask? Because this only happens from people that Molly and I have coined as “undesirables.” From my experience, I developed six basic characteristics that describe undesirables. 1.) older men; 2.) men who are obviously into asian girls 3.) men who obviously haven’t had sex in a long time 4.) men who will obviously have sex with anyone willing but still haven’t had sex in a long time 5.) men who obviously unaffected by rejection; and 6.) men who hit on/ask out anyone in the service industry, with the belief that there is a positive correlation between the number of times you ask someone out to the number of times someone will say yes.

Building on this I got a present from this man. He gave me weed cookies that he made. Given I don’t smoke weed, I am in a predicament—yes, I don’t smoke weed, but I never said I don’t eat it. We’ll see.

On a different note I did unexpectedly well on my Information Systems midterm. I thought I failed it. but instead i scored well above the average score.

Things I like right now:

Listening to “the park” by feist very loud on either speakers or on large headphones is key. I really enjoy this album for various reasons but I especially appreciate the hints of reverberation and background noises that are present on this album, I particularly like the park because you if you listen close enough you can hear wind rustling through trees and birds chirping.

Eating frozen mangoes from trader joes. Always sweet and very refreshing, even on those cold spring days. Frozen pineapples are my substitutes when I have no more mangoes, which happens more often then I’d like. On any given trip to trader joes I will typically buy two bags of frozen mangoes and one bag of pineapples or two bags of pineapples if they’re out of mangoes, also just to throw it in if they’re out of both mangoes and pineapples—god forbid it ever happen again—I will buy frozen blueberries [lame]. I love the mangoes so much, I can eat a bag [about a pound and a half] in a day.

Debating on whether or not I should cut my hair or let it grow out and then gathering opinions from others of what I should do and not taking any consideration to their requested opinions.

The greek system confirming my belief that they epitomize nearly everything that is wrong with society. It’s interesting that educational institutions condone, praise and excuse their heinous behavior. Although I admit I enjoyed grinding with those masculine men with exposed nipples.

Acknowledging the extent of my athleticism--I played Frisbee for about a half an hour, if not less and my arm is sore.

Sarah Cass' photography.

Taking Frances’ advice and walking slower. Admittedly, it’s quite relaxing and enjoyable. That’s all I have to say about that one.

Currently:
Working on my website
Developing new picture projects—which will remain a secret until they’re finalized
Saving money for [near] future travels
Building up confidence to ask Mr. cardigan out.
Out of touch with everything
Desperately seeking B.O.B. [babe on bike]
Waiting for tim to fix my bike so maybe I will run into B.O.B.
Indebt to the library
Not at my normal pooping potential
Really into napping with my socks on
Really into skipping classes for no valid reason
Fighting every urge to be a grandma
Thinking about eating these special cookies
forgetting to call colin back again.

I'm so tired I will continue later.

greasy hands are sexy, no?

I am back--permanently. that's right frances and tim rejoice. now frances will have to wait a few minutes longer before she uses the restroom every morning. and tim will hopefully stop being a hateful gay man.

my bike is broken. I've been spending some time trying to fix it myself. I'm just taking a stab at being the manly man i've always wanted and known i am. at first I thought it was the derailleur, but after changing the cable for that i realized that was not the problem. Ryan came over and helped me fix it, but nothing. after bitching to tim for god knows how long he finally looked at it today and he decides that it's my chain that is causing me all this grief. my chains are disgusting. they're all gunky and covered in so much grease. although i can't really complain about the grease i find greasy bike hands interestingly sexy. it also is very masculine, which i'm into these days. for tim i think it gives him this minuscule and temporary sense of redeeming his masculinity. good for him. but really tim was kind to have helped me so much, even though it is not yet fixed. tomorrow hopefully. but I am really excited actually I want to clean my sprockets and have nice new chains and be the babe on the bike i've always wanted to be.

I had a midterm this week in information systems. i think this class makes me want to die. i can't skip anymore school. but after chinese, getting coffee and eating a large meal going to information systems or organizational behavior especially on a sunny day is the least of my interests.

Frances said that she would put her apples and banana in my mouth. I think she's just concerned with my health and wishes i would eat more fruit. how thoughtful of her.

today at work I saw my ex walk by work with his new girlfriend. it's interesting because I am convinced and have been that I have no lingering feelings for him in that way, but as i saw him walk by, hand in hand with his new girl I felt a bit jealous. the only rational explanation for this is that maybe i'm jealous that since him, i have not really moved on. moved on in the sense moved on in dating--really dating other people. but settling is arbitrary.

the bathrooms at work make me want to vomit. they don't flush. they always to get dirty. and there is always pubic hair and piss on the toilet. I try my best not to use these for the fear of over flowing one myself or walking into a bathroom just to discover a big poop float uptop as a result of an unsuccessful flush. I feel bad for our customers, because, as you know i think pooping is great!

It's not a question anymore. i need to go to europe this summer. I need this. I really do. I need to save money. shit. I have fantasies about meeting handsome men, sitting outside in cafes sipping on espresso under the sun, drinking wine from the bottle at all times of the day, and walking around until my legs can't move. this will happen. believe it. donate to my cause. please.

I will say this again because it irritates me so much. I hate--HATE it when I ask someone if they want their drink for here or to go and they reply, "I'm staying here, but I want it in a to-go cup?" my internal response is "FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU, YOU DIRTY PIECE OF SHIT" that's a horrible thought, but I don't really think people think about waste. people are ignorant and unconscious. and i completely disagree with the idea that ignorance is bliss. fuck you.

I've been feeling motived to be a better [wo]man. I've compiled a short term 'to-do list' if you will. and yes, you will.

buy a typewriter.
buy a record player
buy a new lens
go to henry art gallery
go to the symphony
go to more farmer's markets
go to shy giants
go to a strip club
go to san fran
go to oregon
go to vancouver
go to europe
get out of the u-dist as soon as possible
paint more
expand my photography and photoshop knowledge
expand my bike fixing knowledge
talk less shit
catch up with old friends
eat less cookies
not eating to the point i need to unbutton my pants and sit an angle over 90 degrees
make banana bread with my rotting bananas
try to graduate without doing homework
climb more
learn to play the piano
be a real man
avoid wardrobe duplications with a certain lady
invent something
avoid awkward greetings in passing
not buying clothes
talking about it more
more shows
cut or grow out my hair
fix my tennis racket
go camping and hiking
canoing and kayaking

that's the shortened, incomplete version. goodnight and i hope to talk to you soon. okay it's my promise.

Rilo Kiley

so good. blake and jenny are babes.

My life is in shambles. god let me get back to you about life, for now I need to study.

hey shy guy

Thanks.

I hope that we will some how meet again.

I know I have a lot to catch you guys up on. But first let me write a note to someone.

Dear girl in the bathroom stall next to me at Solstice,

I know that I startled you, disturbing your ever so private pooping session with my entrance. I smelled what you were doing, and yes it is a little embarrassing to be caught in the act of pooping in public. I am a girl too, I understand, we've all been through it. And yes, I do understand to spare the embarrassment of being identified as the "girl who pooped next to me" why you nervously left in a rush. But I not understand, nor do I appreciate you leaving without washing your hands. I know you opened the bathroom door with your germ-filled hand, and for all I know you could be touching [contaminating] other people's tables, cups, straws, and lids. Let's think about the trade off, your pride or public sanitation? Come on.

"I'm going to kill myself, write a new blog homo."

That is exactly what Frances texted me last week. Frances is going through a lot and not reading my blog every morning before she uses the restroom to drop a deuce is causing her so much pain. My blog was on hiatus for more than a weekend, let me re-cap all the adventures and thoughts i've had as of recent. But first let me tell you about today.

I just got done watching There Will Be Blood. This movie was unbearable for so many reasons, many of which are not worth noting. This entire movie made me feel terrible--the music, the acting, the scenes, everything gave me a horrible feeling. the music was great, it narrated the scenes so well. The music at times, however, made me feel frantic, as it was a theme for me throughout the movie. Ryan even felt the same way. Perhaps, the perpetual feeling of distress indicates how amazing this movie really is. The fact that it evokes such strong feelings is quite remarkable. I hated, HATED Daniel Dan Lewis' character so much. Every bone of my body hated his character. I started out hating his character from the beginning and expected his character to get better, but he only got worse. His character continued to digress--all caused by greed. This is the problem with money, it's addictive--once you start making a lot of money you can't stop, and won't stop. I can't talk about this movie any longer, it'll make me more depressed.

Frances, Tim, and I have become this trio [three-way] of shit talkers. We just talk shit all day to each other and about everything else. We always joke about how we are all becoming the same person--a gay man. Yes, that's right, a gay man. Frances and I are transforming in men who wear flannel and like woman. Tim has remained a man, but likes men--specifically other men named Tim [Tim Sweeny and so on]. So anyway, yes there's more emphasis really on the progression of Frances and I becoming the same person. We order pretty much the same drink [soy latte and soy cappuccino], say the same phrases, have the same wallet that is almost the same color, make awkward situations more awkward, work at coffee shops, and sometimes wear similar outfits. It's been made official, we've completely assimilated. Our jokes have manifested itself into reality. Today Frances and I wore almost the exact outfit--skinny jeans, red flannel and mustard yellow jacket, and the same coat from CHINA! We were not complete twins, there were slight variations. Frances had gray skinny jeans, and I had blue skinny jeans; she had a mustard yellow hoodie, I had a mustard yellow cardigan; the same coat that we both got in China, but hers was gray and mine was black. When we realized what was happened we started laughing uncontrollably. The laughing was interspersed with things like, "Oh my god," "I can't believe this is happening," "I don't want to talk about it." What was worse was that our classmates noticed. I think they already think bad things about us, this incident just worsened it.

I don't want to talk about it.

It rained again today. I went to Victrola on 15th and met with Frances to do some work--don't worry I changed my outfit. I think Frances was offended and may very well still be offended that I changed my outfit. She said to me, "Liz why are you so embarrassed, why don't you just embrace and accept it." Oh Frances, I just can't. You know that I am in denial of everything in my life, accept that homegirl. Anyway there's a painfully gorgeous man--no, guy that works at Victrola. I had a traditional cappuccino to start[made by my crush], which was okay, nothing too spectacular, but later I had a macchiato, which was amazing. Great shot, amazing milk. There was even a heart on the top, which is really difficult to do in macchiatos.

Okay now I will start my real re-cap. Let's start with Friday, the 11th. It started with me skipping my only class of the day. God, I'm a mess. I met Frances and Tim at Jewel of India for lunch. They had just seen the Dalai Lama, and of course Tim was talking shit. This was a momentous day, not because they saw the Dalai Lama, but because Tim decided to break up with us, us being Frances and I. I don't even remember why he did--really that's how unimportant it was, but he vengefully did it and left us. I worked. It was so slow, excruciatingly slow. I work with Dylan, which is something that doesn't happen very often, but am glad that they are happening more often now. I really like Dylan. I feel bad because I think I scare him with what I say, probably make him feel awkward with the indirect advances I make at him, and I also shit talk him a lot. We had a good time I think. I was supposed to go out with Jon and the rest of Hard City Refugee house but plans foiled. I went to over to Ryan's and we watched the Beatles anthology. While we were watching I look behind us, outside the window and realize that there is a homeless man pushing a shopping cart staring through the window watching the Beatles with us. He must have been there for 20 minutes or so. He was unfazed by passer byers and even our stares.

Jesus, I think I need to cut my hair. I know I have been saying that I am letting it grow long, but give me some credit I've let it grow longer than I have in years. I think on average I've been telling Colin that I am trying to grow out my hair twice or three times a year, but always fall weak and give up during the awkward stage of hair growth. It's also growing wild. It flips out uncontrollably in the back and waves in no particular pattern in the front. I look something like a pre-pubescent hippie surfer boy. Maybe I'll grow into this look. With Frances and I quickly becoming the same man, I think I may be forced to continue to let my hair grow for the sake of differentiation. We'll see how this unfolds.

As much as I'd like to continue blogging I need to sleep much more. Forgive me if this entry lacks coherence, I'm fucking tired. There's so much more that needs to be told about Saturday, Sunday and Monday. I need to stop before I go crazy. See you tomorrow babes.

b00bz

I was a mess today. Why and how you ask? Let me list the ways

• I woke up extremely late [I was in need of a shower--did not shower]
• Choked on mini pancakes
• Got syrup all over my Chinese book
• Got confused in my information systems lab and started to panic, which in then turned into me sweating
• Ran into my professor right on my way out of skipping her class

Anyway after skipping class I went home and fell asleep [on my back] on the couch and when I woke up Nermal [the house kitten] was on my sitting on my back staring at me. It actually startled me. Nermal does really peculiar things like on a regular basis. Sometimes when I walk into the bathroom she's sitting on top of the toilet looking at herself in the mirror or sitting in the tub. I think she's narcissistic, on numerous occasions I've caught her starring at herself in the mirror. Sometimes when the front door opens she tries to escape. She's real cute though.


During my nap I had this really weird dream. I rarely remember dreams but for some reason parts of this dream were really vivid. It started out at a house I did not recognize, it was dark and very eerie. The house was filled with strangers and some of my family. It seemed to be a party or something, everyone seemed to be unaware that a murderer loose in the town except me. It was weird because I did not tell anyone, I just wanted to find this murderer. It's dark and pouring outside. It's late, i drive to the store for no reason that I can remember and see my two sisters there, Amy and Lisa. They're buying nail polish. I tell them about the murderer and they seem unconcerned and at ease that there was a murderer roaming the streets. I return to my car and the murderer is sitting in my passenger seat. It's weird because in my dream I was not scared at all. We started talking and that is the end of my dream.

I made macaroni and cheese from scratch. I've been having extreme cravings for home made macaroni and cheese. Come over if you, too enjoy macaroni and cheese with vegetables.

I was grumpy at work today. I have my reasons, but nothing that would affect my emotions. In any case my latte, cappuccinos, and chai art was so on key. It was probably because I was working really hard on concentrating my mind on one thing and I was unconcerned with what was going on around me. The night picked up and I began to feel better. We always somehow end up talking about gender and sexuality. Alex, Aaron and I are talking about how guys can be so homophobic and self conscious when it comes to talking about the attractiveness of other guys. I mean if you have an idea of what an ugly guy looks like, shouldn't you then inherently have an idea of what an attractive guy looks like? I think girls are much more open about this. I have no problem saying a girl is attractive, cute, or hot. That does not make me gay. Guys are not gay if you say some other guy is attractive. I hate that there is such a strict delineation between what is considered gay and not gay. My friend Molly once said to me, "you're not queer until you're willing to go down there." This was hilarious. I told Aaron this and he replied, "oh god I could never do that. I cant even get over the boobs part." I think that was the highlight of my night.

God, I really like Ace of Cakes. I think maybe one day I would like to do something similar. I really like Geoff. He's so sarcastic. What I like most about him is his voice, it's monotone and extremely sarcastic. He's so nerdy and uncomfortable. He likes to wear plaid shirts and plain T's. I like that.

I thought I was seeing Dalai Lama on Monday but Dylan freaked me out by saying that the only tickets for students or whatever are for tomorrow. But if I remember correctly I have tickets for Monday, the 14th from 3-5. But I don't know how I will check that. I hope I'm right. I'm actually really excited to see the Lama. I will take pictures and share with you all!

If you know me at all, you know that I wear lots of V-necks. I'm no slut, but they're really low, deep V-neck, quite boobtastic, if you will. When I wear V-necks to work, I usually go home and take a shower or change and there coffee grinds that literally pour from my bra and chest, like a avalanche. I don't know if that's something to brag about or be embarrassed about. Either way, I'm a messy bitch. In addition to that I will without a doubt have milk all over my classes, syrup in my hair and coffee grinds in my shoe.

I've been listening to She & Him [Zooey Deschanel and M. Ward] Volume one non-stop since I got it on Sunday. Fuck, it's so good. so good.

byebye.

more than the sum of the parts

I just watched United States of Leland. I really liked this movie. In the movie Ryan Gosling's character does this thing with his eyes, where he has one eye shut while his other eye focuses on an object and then he switches and does the reverses, which completely changes the position of the object. It's a re-occurring thing in the movie. What's weird is that I always do this with objects. I doubt that I'm one of the only people that do it, but it's something I've always done but never shared with anybody else.

Colin and I went shopping for more then two hours today. This would not be so weird if it weren't for the fact that it was grocery shopping. First we went to Trader Joe's and then to Whole Foods. Holy hell I think every time I go to Trader Joe's I have some kind of panic attack, which is caused by the chaotic nature of the shoppers there. There's always at least one single parent with two or more fussy kids that are hanging out of their cart crying or complaining. There is also always a grumpy old woman or dozen at Trader Joe's fiercely plowing down the aisle, pushing you aside for that gallon of milk. Colin whispered to me, "look that woman is spread eagle, LOOK!" I replay, "what the fuck are you talking about?" I look around and try to find her but I'm too slow, fortunately for me the woman does some kind of very aggression spread eagle bend to the floor to grab some granola bars. God it was awkward, it kind of made me feel sick. Anyway I bought more frozen mangoes--two bags to be exact. These will be gone in a week...tops.

Today I did I participated in this research study for my management class. It was in a computer lab, and as you know computer labs are notoriously hot. Jesus, I was sweating...bad. This is probably because I'm a menopausal old woman. In any case it was nasty. I rarely ever feel like I'm pitting out. I say feel like i'm pitting out because I really did not know. Usually when I feel like I'm sweating badly, I'm really not. I think self-consciousness really plays a large part of this feeling. It was so bad that I was scared to re-tie my hair, fearing that someone would catch a glimpse of a sweaty pit. For some reason there was a dog in class, I think it was a lab tech's or something. But it was so friendly and cute I could not resist playing with it. I spend a good 5 minutes petting this dog and after I smell something kind of gross around me. I look around thinking to myself "maybe someone farted" then I smell my hands and realize my hands smell like shit. At this point I am a little upset, not at the dog but the dog's owner. How dare they have a dirty dog.

I am so tired. I need to go to bed. But I will probably see if Frances has a new blog up.

The Graduate

Dustin Hoffman what a babe.

that's all for tonight goodnight.

"corn in poop"

Law and Order: SVU is so fucking addicting. It's one of those things that I don't like to admit to other people because it's really quite embarrassing. But I can't deny how goood it is. I can spend hours watching it, admittedly I enjoy every minute of it.

For the first time in a long time school is at the bottom of things important to me. It feels great. We'll see how long it'll continue, the quarter is still young.

I'm pretty terrible at keeping in touch with people--especially on facebook. I have a love-hate relationship with facebook. Facebook lets me keep in touch with people that I can't easily talk to, but it also becomes an obligation of sorts. I'll let comments pile up, and the more they pile up the less i want to reply to them. As horrible as it might sound it almost becomes a burden to reply to the growing comments. Sometimes people get all mad when I don't respond. What the fuck is up with that? Facebook is causing me all kinds of pains. God I'm going on tangents. But what I wanted to get at is every so often when I feel that it's time to reply to Facebook comments I do a massive reply session. This task usually takes me a good hour or so, it's really quite draining and I do feel horrible for taking my sweet time replying. I think I have an issue with learning from mistakes because judging from past experiences I have not learned from my mistakes. I'm a mess.

I kind of talked with a friend from China. I think it's time to go back. I am searching for a sugar daddy to fund my trips. Let me know if you know any good ones. thanks.

I made banana bread today and then I ate some banana bread today. It was pretty good, but I put walnuts in them and I think I regret that decision. They're too walnutty tasting, which is NOT what I was looking for. I only really like eating the tops and ends of baked goods. Well not only, but if I could I would eat just the tops and ends of all baked goods I'd be a happier woman [lumberjack]. Perhaps I will start a bakery in the future of just tops and ends to cater to those who are just like me that primarily enjoy the tops and ends. That is how I will make my millions.

I ate it quick! poof!

As of late I've been listening to NPR constantly. Let me tell you it is much much easier to listen to news then to read it. I encourage you to try it. just do it.

Today Ryan told me that he pooped corn. And I asked him if they were in whole form and sure enough they were! Then I asked him when he had corn last and he said yesterday. So then I told him to try to eat things that will visibly appear in his poop just to see how long it takes him to digest them. This conversation led to us [mainly Ryan] researching corn in poop at solstice. He typed in "corn in poop" into Google and we got this website--http://www.poopreport.com/Doctor/Content/corn.html . This is a really informative website if you ever had any questions or concerns about your poop or other's poop.

Here is the first "planet" i made on photoshop. This one is okay considering I did this kind of drunk. enjoy!

My legs hurt.

Spring quarter just started last week and again I find myself questioning why the fuck I continue schooling. I think the biggest part is that, although business classes can be interesting they're pretty boring and the some of the people are just toolbags. Take for example the seemingly normal looking guy that sits in front of me in my Information System class [yikes I know I suck] until he stands up and exposes his crew-neck tucked into his pants that are up to his chest. He is the know it all that inevitably everyone has in class. On numerous occasions he idiotically spoke out in front of the class acting like he knew everything about computers and shit and then the teacher corrects him and he gets so defensive and argues and DOES NOT STOP. I could not help but laugh. So yes, I am that bitch in the class that makes no attempt to make friends and keeps quiet. I know, I know this sounds nothing like me, but I just tell myself that my "peers" here at the good old business school are here to exploit the poor and exhaust [limited] resources for the sake of their own wealth and to fuel corporate America's blatant corruption. The business school is all about bull-shitting and looking good. You may ask, "why are you in the business school Liz if you hate it so much?" I have my reasons, I hate myself sometimes for this decision, but to put it simply I do not support corporate America and I do not intend on taking over the world and exploiting everyone and anything I can just so I can live in a mansion on the eastside with a hummer.

I'm a hater.

On a better note I finally returned the Cd's I borrowed from the library. I've been walking around the city recently exploring and such. Seattle has so many neighborhoods and things to do that sometimes finding new things to do or see seem endless. This is quite wonderful, yes?

My legs are sore as F! I walk really aggressively on the streets with my head down and music blasting. I'm completely in my own world of thought. Sometimes I wonder what I'm missing on these powerwalks of mine. There's a genuine curiosity but I have such a fear of eye-contact that i can't risk this by observing my surroundings.

Anyway after class I planned on meeting Ashley for some frozen yogurt--fro yo, as it is so dearly called at Shy Giants at the market. It's the best fucking place for frozen yogurt. [Side note:: I think you have to understand how much I love frozen yogurt and how frustrating it is to have less than a handful of frozen yogurt joints in Seattle]. But by the time we got there it was closed! So we just walked around the market and ran into a gelato place on 1st ave. Mmm...chocolate hazelnut and caramel gelato. So good.

We made our way to the library, which was a first for Ashley. She got a library card and the man at the desk was a hater too. He was talking so much shit about all the problems the library has. He is my new friend I think. I don't know his name but I know where he works and what he looks like, that's enough right? We explored and got hella lost--that's right hella lost, which is totally fine considering how cool everything was in there. The red floor is something out of a horror movie or a bad dream. Reminds me of blood or being completely panicked and lost. It was also kind of scary with those homeless people popping out of dark corners like they were. I go to the library really just to rent cd's, which i then in turn upload onto my computer but I really like to get out of U-district.

As we were leaving this man comes into the elevator with us , and you can tell this man has good character by his dress. He's wearing a peculiar suit with faint pink stripes. And anyway I'm fussing my camera and we start chatting and he tell us he's from South Carolina and yadda yadda and then out of no where he asks me "do you want to take a picture of me?" I like him more. I'm always scared of taking pictures of people, and being a passive seattlelite i never ask. Look at him, he looks so cool.

I became a member of the Seattle Symphony campus club today. I've been trying to see the symphony forever but it's so expensive and I never got around to go. But the campus club thing lets you see the symphony for 10bucks. I'm so excited.

We then walked to Chinatown. Shit the walk from downtown to Chinatown is sketchy. I honestly felt scared walking through pioneer square, and not the "scared" I feel walking home at night in u-dist, but "fuck I hope nobody jumps me for my camera." [Yeah Tim I know what you're thinking. Suck it ]. And fuck I don't know why I was carrying my camera around in that area anyway.

We ate at this tiny Hong Kong style restaurant in Chinatown. I got these rice noodles in broth with tofu and chinese broccoli. It was delicious. What I love about Chinatown is that the food is sooo good and so cheap. Eating in Chinatown makes me think about how much money I spend on overpriced shit. This gigantic bowl cost me about the same of my soy cappuccino. This makes me sick. I can't help myself though. I'm a mess. My life revolves around foood. This blog can easily and will probably become a food documentation blog. Prepare yourself for the glutton that is me.

Although I definitely foresee school being horrible, I have a good feeling about this quarter. I am expecting fun, adventures, lots of learning and new experiences--bike rides, picnics, canoing, frisbee-ing, wine, beer, and coffee drinking, Seattle neighborhood exploration adventures, you name it. Shiiiittttt, it's going to be good.

I've been experimenting with making wee worlds from panoramic shots. I'll post them later along with a few other projects. I'm trying to do everything and anything to avoid homework! enjoy!

On a final note:
I like flannel. If there were more opportunities for little Chinese girls to be excellent lumberjacks I think I would be happier. But I can settle for marrying a lumberjack instead. I can live vicariously through him.